I hate myself and I want to die

secrets secrets secrets.

i guess most of the time i forget what this is all really about the chase, the pursue fuck everything else.

4am starts you complete me.

hahahahaha holy fuck i just wanted to say fuck i am the smoothest motherfucker in all of the 2646 and more even cause shit i am on a roll tonight ;)

the feelings i thought i had for you are through and i don’t really have the guts to tell you, i’ll be waiting.

ehh probably saturday.

i actually have no idea what time we got together but i remember it was around 2 or 3 or maybe even 4pm bought some shjuices and two goonies went down to the dungeon and sunk one of those bad boys got a bit off gavins and found a trolley so i pushed curly in it most of the way to mine and hilarious shit just kept happening. curly was messy as mess by the time we got to mine which was around 6 the dumb ass couldn’t even stand up really and of all people to look me straight in the face and call me a bad influence he was the first. that’s when he started to get messy as fuck and just having a spew sesh fucking everywhere picking the loose fuck up every five minutes and carrying him to the couch, ashleigh and timmy came over some time while he was just being a menace. i don’t know how long that dragged on for but eventually we left mine and i pushed curly in the trolley to ellens. ran into a few loose units on the way there was nice. can’t really remember much of being at ellens but i left a fairly abusive message on my brothers voice mail so thats okay. then i remember walking to couttsys and some guys were yelling in their backyard out to tim and i so we thought we’d have some chats i guess and then one of them wanted to fight me so i spose we got out of that situation fast and by then we had already lost curly which these guys knew curly and wanted to bash the idiot cause he owed them money, typical. then we got to couttsy and i can’t really recall much i remember britney going off her tits wanting to fight every bitch and being in the toilet fuckloads with some bitch just off spewing on the ground, good chats with allie b then isaac and tim telling me how much they’re in love with bitches they can’t have which was just quite frankly depressing. then i remember walking to the kitchen and seeing curly with benny benassi and me just being the angriest bitch out had a massive go and yell sesh at him then just left the party pretty much. was on the road for a while and i could see tim in the distance having a rage picking up bins and throwing them around places so i walked over to the little guy and fucking got lost until i could hear the loose fuck yelling shit and thats when we fucked up every single thing on the way to my house. just kicking down every fuckers mail box and jumping through every for sale sign. then we got back to mine and timmy and i just having the biggest d n ms about fucking bitches messing with your heart and what not which was when i lost my shit and had a massive d n m with motherberries and timmy just having a mass breakdown and shit when i could hear curly out the front of my house with his loud as fuck voice so i ran outside to the fuckhead and he just hugged me while i fucking balled my eyes out which made him cry so we had a bathroom sesh and he cleaned up my makeup for me went back into my loungeroom and had a few hongs with timmy, benny and curly which was fucking great and then while we were in the middle of doing that curly turns to me and says ‘you know what, i need need to talk to you kitchen now’. so we went into my kitchen and had the biggest d n ms ever mainly him just talking absolute the smackest of all smack to me and then we came back and banjo was still being a fucking legend so i took a few happy snaps of the happy fuck when curly was just saying how much he fucking loved us three which was cute as fuck then i have no idea but i guess curly and ben left and after that tim just had a greenout sesh started spewing everywhere so i took care of the poor little guy and i said to him do you want me to walk you home timmy and he replied to me whilst face down next to a puddle of his own spew ‘fuck no i’m still keen to party’, what a fucking legend. so i cleaned him up and we started walking back to couttsys and half way there we saw davey fringles, skittles, bk, april i think thats all and they said coutsy kicked everyone out so we went back to bks and then timmy and i went home and i’m pretty sure i passed out on the phone to isaac.

things i like about the way i look: a small patch of skin on my upper left leg.

things i don’t like about the way i look: the rest.

I was close to go and try some coke and a happy ending would be slitting my throat, ignorance the coke man, ignorance is bliss… ignorance is love and I need that shit.

‘We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.’

i’m super paranoid like a sixth sense since my father died i ain’t been right since and i tried to piece the puzzle of the universe split an eighth of shrooms just so i could see the universe i try to think of myself as a sacrifice just to show the kids they aren’t the only ones up at night.